Look at my butt!
The dialogue in which I was engaged while drinking my morning coffee.
Gwen: Mommy, look at my butt.
Me: Yes, honey (sip)
Gwen: (pulling down underwear) Mommy, do you like my butt?
Me: Gwen, honey, your butt is a private part and you really shouldn’t show it to people.
Gwen: I like my butt. I’ll show her to myself…
Me: (sip)
Gwen: she’s a part of me and I like her! Come on butt! Let’s go to the playroom!
(any advice for how to begin the keeping-her-off-the-pole childraising program?)
Look at my butt! (later today)
The dialogue in which Gwen and I engaged over lunch:
Gwen: Mommy, which part of the three bears is your favorite?
Me: I guess I like it when Goldilocks tries out the chairs.
Gwen: I like it when the bears come home and Goldilocks is like “oh shit, bears!” Is “shit” a bad word?
Me: Well, it’s a word that we don’t want to say at school or church.
Gwen: Ok Mommy. I like my Curious George panties.
Me: Curious George is cute.
Gwen: I’m going to wear the orange ones to school and show them to Audrey. She loves Curious George.
Me: Gwennie, we talked about this earlier, you shouldn’t show people your butt.
Gwen: I’m not going to show her my butt, I’m just going to show her my panties.
Me: Your panties are on your butt.
Qwen: But I won’t pull them down, Mommy, I promise.
(It seems that I’m contributing to butt exhibitionism by purchasing Curious George panties)
